"Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans." Just ask John Lennon. I’m sure he could not have imagined the prescience of his words in terms of his untimely death. Yet, I never cease to be amazed at the synchronicity with which our lives become a testament to our beliefs.

Some months ago Dana generously offered me a spot as a guest writer on this website. I picked October’s "Season Teachings", planning to present an historical perspective on the pagan origins of Halloween and (in the spirit of the Libra new moon) to illustrate how connecting with the natural world restores balance to our lives. I set aside several days for writing, to ensure I’d meet the deadline. It was a simple, straightforward plan and then--well, life happened--eclipsing my plan with other more pressing priorities.

The tranquility and sensory pleasure of a glorious Sunday afternoon, end of a picture perfect early autumn week, was shattered when my twenty four year old daughter was broadsided in an automobile accident. First, let me mention that she was not seriously hurt, but came uncomfortably close to it. The other party, an elderly retired MD from out of town, driving a brand new Lexus, was clearly at fault. My hunch is that he didn’t see the red light which is partially obscured by large overhanging branches on the tree-lined parkway where the accident occurred. However, I was horrified to later discover from my insurance carrier that he denied responsibility, accused my daughter of negligence and in the absence of witnesses will not be challenged or penalized. As a result, our insurer is left to foot the bill for the considerable damages to our Volkswagen. Visions of paying additional thousands of dollars in premiums loomed large in my consciousness, alongside many "what if" scenarios and numerous plots designed to extract the truth. For several days (and nights) I retreated into a brooding, low level depression, accompanied by anxiety and feelings of victimization. I railed against the unfairness of the world, the dishonest, uncaring behavior of this individual, and my own powerlessness in the face of it. My haunted mind would not concentrate on the tasks at hand, and my seasonal teaching was languishing, unwritten with a deadline approaching.

Then the light came on.

Somehow, I intuited (correctly), the lessons of this experience would become an integral part of the season’s teaching. "We teach what we need to learn!" How often had I heard that axiom repeated? Armed at last with a mission, I asked the universe for guidance and set about my healing journey. An important clue appeared shortly thereafter, when in the course of relating my accident story to a gathering of neighbors on the front sidewalk, I let slip that I was angry. "Of course you are!!" The response was swift and indignant, coming simultaneously out of three different mouths. That’s when I first realized that I had not given myself permission to feel or express anger. Now that I’d done so, I had an uncomfortable premonition that some awful consequence would surely ensue. One of the group, a healer friend, took me aside and suggested I go inside my body and get in touch with my feelings. I was already becoming aware that my loaded reaction suggested the whole incident had triggered material with much deeper roots. The roots were indeed deep, as I was to discover and with indelible lunar linkages—reflections of both Aries and Libra, the signs of last month’s full and this month’s new moon as well as the Scorpio-ruled eighth house, residence of my natal Aries moon.

Each of the twelve Zodiac signs is paired on an axis with its polar opposite (Aries/Libra, Taurus/Scorpio, etc). In the monthly lunar cycle, each polarity manifests sequentially as either a new or full moon. The entire axis (both ends) operates as an energetic underlayment throughout a given moon cycle (even though the transiting moon changes sign every few days). Customarily, the new moon initiates the changeover from one axis to the next. However, approximately every 22 months, two consecutive new moons occur in the same sign (one in very early and one in very late degrees) interrupting this rhythm and causing an axial "pole shift" at the full rather than at the new moon. This pattern took effect following two new Aries moons last March and will predominate until the next "correction", 22 months hence. Thus, new energies now come into play in the waning rather than in the waxing phase. Metaphorically, illuminated from behind by the full moon, we are stepping forward into the shadow cast before us. Synchronistically, unconscious, unresolved (shadow) issues may be triggered at the full moon, deepen as we descend gradually into the darkness and then begin to grow in the light (become more conscious) at the next new moon.

My personal experience stands as a testament to this process. At last month’s Aries full moon, my lunar return, I began hearing the skeletons rattling in my karmic closet. My natal moon is in the eighth house, often a repository of guilt, paranoia, obsessions and phobias (especially regarding ways we died in other lives). The auto accident unhinged the door and I knew it was time to step through. I had identified several unmistakable symbols (anger, injustice, deceit, money) so I knew the territory I needed to explore. I spent the balance of the week contemplating, meditating and working with healers. A past-life regression was the most helpful, returning me to a lifetime of poverty and hopelessness in pre-revolutionary France. I was the mother of a young girl, needlessly killed by a soldier during a bread riot. In a fit of rage, I attacked his horse with only my bare fists, was subsequently dragged away to prison and summarily hung. I saw my family in the crowd at the execution, my husband with babe in arms and two younger children crying out for their mother. I could do nothing because my hands were tied. I died grief stricken, guilt-ridden, bitter and vengeful.

I understand now why it wasn’t safe to express my anger towards the man who rammed the driver’s side door of my daughter’s car. I expected to die! The regression identified a key source of the repressed anger I have been carrying towards male authority figures. I also discovered the roots of a deep abiding sense of injustice and of a recurrent feeling of powerlessness that I’ve often described as "having my hands tied behind my back!" In past life therapy one heals and releases blocked emotion and trauma, thus insuring that destructive patterns and beliefs are not carried into the future. I am now free to express anger appropriately and to take effective action—my hands are untied. Having moved through the darkness of my shadowland, I am prepared to embrace the peaceful Libran new moon. I even got good news from the insurance company—car not totaled, damages assigned to offending party!

October ushers in the Scorpion time. The sun enters Scorpio on October 22^nd and reaches the midpoint of its cycle on November 7^th. The pagan solar holiday of Samhain, or Hallows, forerunner of Halloween, was traditionally celebrated at this 15 degree juncture. With the spread of Christianity, calendar changes through the centuries caused the date to be shifted to October 31^st. Hallows is the time when the veil is thinnest between this world and the "other side", facilitating contact with spirits of the departed. In the pagan calendar, the New Year began at Samhain (also considered to be the beginning of winter) when the Goddess made her annual descent into the underworld. Like the archetypal Persephone, goddess of fertility, while in the realm of Pluto (Hades) she will undergo a transformation, be initiated into the mysteries and emerge to give birth in the spring.

Journeying to the underworld is an apt metaphor for plumbing the depths of our personal psyches. October’s new and full moons, Libra and Taurus, are both Venusian, and thus goddess-ruled. In this "hallowed" (meaning sacred) season, with winter approaching, perhaps the love goddess is beckoning each of us to journey within and confront the specters that haunt us. We all carry ghosts from the past--dysfunctional belief systems, repressed emotions, unfinished business. Carl Jung posited that we cannot find peace by chasing figures of light, but by transforming the darkness. Left hidden in our shadowland, our demons will continue to create our outer reality from an unconscious place. Brought into the light, they are vanquished. We will never know what karmic issues may have been at play, but certainly John Lennon left us an instructive example of the potential consequences of unexamined beliefs.

Let us be good students.

© 2004 Judith Goldberg
All rights reserved

Judith Goldberg, MFA, is a Karmic Astrologer, specializing in Life Purpose and Right Livelihood consultations. Judith received a Master’s Degree in Art Education from the Maryland Institute of Art and spent several years as a teacher and craftsperson. She earned a certificate in Karmic Astrology from the Center for Creative Choices where she studied under Linda Brady, author of "Discovering Your Soul Mission". Judith writes a monthly column "STAR TRACK: Astrology for the New Age" at spiritcrossing.com . Judith has a private practice in Baltimore, Maryland and consults with out of area clients by phone. You may reach her by email.