I was born February 12, 1973. I have been a seeker for most of my life. After an exceptionally traumatic dark night of the soul in 1994, it seemed like I was going steadily in the direction of learning and practicing a spiritual path that involved meeting people who were on the same path, learning healing techniques and living a life filled with spirit. Now, however, I feel like I have come to a halt. In all areas, from career to relationships to weight problems, it all feels like a dead-end. Is there an explanation, from a planetary point of view, for this time of nothingness? Is there reason to believe that things will be changing for the better? I am hoping that if I can understand astrologically what it happening I will be able to bring some magic back into my life. (RR)

One of the benefits of astrology is an understanding of the meaning of seemingly incomprehensible events or shifts in our lives. At least if we understand a time period we know the challenge begins at a particular time and ends at a particular time; it has a purpose which we can embrace; and there are meaningful approaches to working with the energy of any time period. What astrology cannot provide is a way to avoid experiencing a challenging time. You, quite rightly, asked for an explanation and a way to reenergize your life.

In 1994, transiting Pluto was squaring your Sun in Aquarius demanding that you surrender who you had been and reemerge as an independent, transpersonal woman who would devote her life to a larger, spiritual purpose. It was a dark, traumatic time though that darkness led you to the bright future you have enjoyed since that time. Now transiting Pluto is squaring your natal Mars which is located in your 6^th house of work and rules your 7^th house of relationships leading us to expect this to be another dark time most noticeable in your work and relationships. The 6^th house is also the house of health which would highlight any imbalances in your body and their physicals effects such as your weight. Mars is our desire nature, what we want, what motivates us, our sexuality, how we seek to get what we desire, any irritations we feel or may have suppressed, our anger emanating from the present and the past and our energy level. Clearly Mars is much more including the activation principle in our lives which is where you have been halted. Nothing is moving as Pluto has shut down the motion and movement in your life in order for you to be able to create more consciously, more powerfully and with ever more surrender to what your soul intentions are.

Transiting Pluto began its square to your Mars in March and will complete that aspect in November 2010. The first portion of a transit is usually the hardest period since we are surprised, unsettled, and unsure and, perhaps, fearful of the new events and feelings we are experiencing. As we adjust to this different time, come to a better understanding (and with Pluto a surrender to what is) of what is happening and how we feel, we can begin to respond with a new awareness and trust which begins a transformation to a more empowered self and life. With transiting Mars moving in retrograde motion (December 20^{th, 2009 - March 10)}, this is an ideal time for you to search your inner masculine, your history with men, sexuality, energy, power, desire and all the ways you have actively engaged your life. In the spring when Mars moves to direct motion again, I think you will feel that your life is beginning to move again. Note that this Mars retrograde takes place in your 10^th house of career, accomplishment and contribution. Is it time for your work to take off at a new level of spiritual commitment and calling?

I am so sorry to hear that you are facing a serious reoccurrence of cancer. The fact that you had been healthy, responded well to treatment, were cancer free for so many years, and now are in treatment looking well is a testament to your strength. Your health history is unusual and you have been doing well for about two years since this reoccurrence which is also remarkable. Miracles do happen and I believe in holding the space for that possibility. However, your question, though a difficult one, is serious and one I want to respond to though it would be easy to pass on a question no astrologer can really answer.

That said, how can astrology help you at such a serious moment in your life? Your original diagnosis was approximately 15 years ago which is half a full Saturn cycle of 29 ½ years making this time the test of whether or not you will be able to heal again. Two years ago when your cancer returned the ruler of your 8^th house of serious, potentially fatal challenges was opposing your natal Pluto and your secondary progressed Mercury was quincunxing your natal Neptune, a serious health aspect. There were several other health aspects that were quite serious over the last two years describing the critical nature of your illness and battle for healing. Despite all of the worrisome aspects I see, you have overcome all of the odds so far. Therefore, I feel you may continue to surprise yourself and everyone else. It is possible that Jupiter passing over your progressed Mercury/Pluto in late January could be significant (maybe a new treatment or remisson), however, I would suspect the eclipse in January of 2011 (the aspects in your chart at that eclipse continue into February) should be more crucial as it conjuncts the ruler of your 8^th house along with aspects from the Sun, Moon, Jupiter, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Saturn and Pluto and the Moon’s nodes.

I want to be clear in telling you that I do not know, cannot know from your chart when your life will be complete but I do know this is a serious illness, that you most likely have a year or more ahead of you and that there is time to live, to seek other possible supporting treatments if you feel drawn to do so and to continue to develop the inner strength and hope you have called on before. I also know that there are amazing breakthroughs in cancer treatment that will be available soon and that you have many fortunate Jupiter aspects in your birth chart which may mean that your future could be the story of a remarkable survival. Good luck!